..it DID NOT kill me…

I heard them say “don’t start something you are not sure how to finish.”

I didn’t listen. Paid them no attention.

So I went off on my own, started out.

Had no idea which direction to take but I set out anyway. Didn’t know who I was going to meet on the way, but I didn’t turn back. This journey was important – to me.

I thought; maybe hoped that at some point someone else was going to tell me “you are on the right path B” or maybe a “you may want to take the other path dearie” no one did. So I went on still hoping someone would. Still hoping for signs and guides ahead. 

Then I said to myself “maybe if I gave ’em all an ultimatum they would chip in, help me out on my quest” but they didn’t. So I swallowed my pride, and the words too. Took my “keep calm poster” and “went on”.

It hurt so much when I fell down and didn’t have enough hands to pull me up. but I held on to the ones that were available, felt them lift me up. Felt them dust me off, heard them whisper “you can do this love”. I took ‘their energy” with me.

And when all my hankies soaked wet from crying couldn’t hold anymore of the tears I had suppressed I set them aside and let the tears roll down my cheeks freely.

What with the midday sun in a place with so little shade. I sat pretty hoping that at least someone would see the sweat on my forehead and offer me a drink from the thirst and maybe – just maybe – a little rest. But they were too busy trying to secure some of ‘that little ” for themselves. So I put on my stunnas and continued on my way.

As the afternoon heat lessened and the thirst somehow forgotten, I could now envision my destination. I had to make it.

Coming that far and giving up was not an option – viable or otherwise. 

It didn’t matter that I had almost given up, it didn’t matter that they had also given up on me before I even started. There was no time for the blame game.

The darkness couldn’t phase me not with the tiny light ahead, getting brighter with every step I made. There was a sign of victory and I was not letting it slip away.

Now with every little step, the distance shortens, my heart rejoices. My heart beats faster, I like the new found rhythm. I am creating a new song – my song. With my name to the title. Copyrighting my emotions to it. 

I am looking at this life and telling everyone,

~

“What doesn’t kill you, will ALWAYS make you stronger”

call me B…

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