CAN I HELP YOU?…
How many times have you heard these words and known you should answer on the affirmative but just wont.
I don’t know about you – but to me it is many times.
I am one of “those people”.
Which people you might ask?
You know, the kind that think they got this world figured out and therefore don’t need help. The kind that think accepting help is weakness. Yes I am one of “those people”.
And I am ashamed of myself.
Reading Broadside’s post on help got me thinking about the four letter word.
Why doesn’t it easily occur to me ask for it?
There is this belief about middle children and independence. They have to work extra hard than their older siblings to prove their strength and somehow still want to display their fragility so has to receive the extra attention given to the younger ones. Somehow they get lost in this confusion and end up having to figure out life as they go – most of the time solo. They develop their “survival” skills earlier than the rest. They know that somehow they have to.
I am a middle child, I should know.
And yes I am trying to justify why I don’t ask for help.
I am not sure if I am shy person or not. I think I’m not – some people think I am extremely shy therefore afraid of approaching someone for help. I don’t dwell on it that much.
We say that in life there are takers and givers. I am more of a giver than a taker.
Let me say that the first time I had someone take care of my needs felt good at first, then the guilt took over and I was back to my old self. I had to be the one taking control.
I feel at home when:
- I am able to dish out advice to someone.
- or lend an helping hand to a friend.
- or even an ear to a troubled person in need of a listener.
Someone might argue that maybe I do that to shift attention away from me – well, it works doesn’t it?
For now all I can say is the phrase CAN I HELP YOU? is among my least favorite.
Yes it is always said mostly at the right time but like I said I am one of “those people” who will answer NO…..
……and struggle some more.
CAN I BE HELPED?
Thank you for stopping by.
Call me B….