…here is my PROOF…

ANY beginner blogger out there will agree with me when I say that coming up with new material can be quite hectic – if not scary.

It’s even worse when you have been reading other blogs and you realize just how green you are. That comfort of being the best writer or something like that back in school fades with every professional’s blog/post that you consume. You suddenly feel that urge to copy and paste and get it over with.

You really want to impress but dont even know what can do that.

I mean you do BUT dont know; get it?

So there you are with your computer, the rest of the world blocked out. The rush of excitement of how this time you are going to blow out “their” minds. Suddenly your mind goes blank – I mean not really blank – maybe I mean somehow blank. Rather the chaos of ideas in your mind don’t come out completely. This doesn’t want to give way to that and before you know, you have auto saved around four version of a story you were sure you knew how to express right from the begining.

A cup of coffee and maybe cookies later and you are thinking maybe you should talk about the cookies. There is a problem though – you dont know what happened to those cookies before they landed at the supermarket shelves where you bought ’em. You cannot write; “I choose the darkest cookies, paid for them and went home. Put them on a plate and told y’all before eating ’em”. Maybe you can add about your journey to and from the supermarket but if you are like me then you are doomed.

Doomed because I hide a lot BehindMyStunnas that nothing amazing ever happens to me – don’t worry no tears will flow at this point. I am used to it.

Then it hits you it is a Saturday and maybe if you go cludding then maybe the “juices” will come flowing back.

A couple of tequila shots later and you become the main star in someone else’s blog. Never mind that you had set out to do that to someone else – that thing they say about Karma – okay I am not sure how it applies here but if we(yes you are going to help me) look closely we’ll find out.

Next morning, an hangover, painkillers and several bottles of water later you decide maybe you should write about the after effects of too much alcohol but by the time you are strong(read sober) enough to do so. The effects have worn out and you are aching for another night out. Only problem is, it’s a Sunday and you have to attend your former schoolmate’s mini harambee for her wedding.

You head out armed with your pen and notebook or just your phone because your tech-savvy self managed to bag one of those cool phones that store lotsa data. You will be very observant this time. There must be a lot of stories where people are gathered – especially if the targeted group are agemates. The information flow here is always free, fast and mostly hillarious. So today you are very sure you are getting material for that post.

“Is that Kate? She lost so much weight – bitch is super skinny now ##sneer, sneer##. OMG!!
Lyn’s dress is so fine!! Gotta take a pic with her to use as my facebook profile pic.
Did Ray just cut her hair and dye them blonde?
Susan girl what’s with the old T-Shirt – you know the reason we never let you tag along on girls night. Right?
Roberta do you know why the bride to be never lets you hang out with her fiancé – something to do with those low-cut tops. Trust me she has said it before – okay she was drunk but the truth kinda comes out at that point you know.
Let me go talk to Vin he owes me that story about Jarvins. Change of plans – my next post will be about Jarvins and his drama queen girlfriend.”

Three hours later and you are discussing football – never mind your clueless-ness about the game. Your plan tossed out somewhere in between.

A tipsy you gets home around eight o’clock and all you want to do is prepare Monday’s wardrobe. And sleep – especially sleep. You dont really need to post anything. You are sure the “professionals” have something queued already.

Yeah you will use your blog to access the ones you have subscribed to. You will spend tomorrow admiring other people’s work – daydreaming of how one day you will post a big one too. It will make it to search engines. Magazines will quote you. You will get interviews and maybe hire an assistant to sieve through “worthy” and “not so worthy” ones. You are going to be soooo cool after that.

But till that happens, you have to keep your blog look busy. You know, maybe change the theme you are using, and how about trying a new colour for the header. Maybe use white instead of black – maybe Black is the reason why you dont feel so inspired. The background could use some work too.

Then you will post the picture below. Something to justify why you have been staring at your computer the whole weekend.

...told y'all I had proof...

Till I manage to do a post.

Call me B…

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