…a good friend once asked me why I always swear am never getting married and I couldnt think of any specific answer. I have so many answers some justified and others just plainly lame .
I have done a pretty good job at keeping my emotions in check.
I know, I know it sounds like I have totally lost it and the truth is I have!!! I mean at first I tried masking all this just to tell my sweet self that it was well with me and it’s gonna pass and I will fall in love eventually, but nuh!! Day by Day I have no motivation to even try “nubbing” some guy for future reasons n roles(hehehehhe). I have no urge to even try and dress sexy and tell my future knight that I am here. I get iritated whenever some random Adam tries to chat me up.
At first it all worried me but with time I perfected it all. I know now what I have to do. I know how to block ’em all when am walking down the streets – catch me dead without my headphones on. I know what to do when in a bus/matatu – catch me with a novel, magazine or even my Bible. When I go into a night club just to unwind all I got to do is surf endlessly on my phone if I am alone – my BFF tells me to stop going into clubs alone. I am working on it love, dont worry. Baby steps.
This is not to say I hate company. I am sure if there was one of those competitions where you ponyoka with something I would in this. I love company – I just dont like intrusive company. I meet my pals quite often but not everyday. I get bored easily so i try to minimise the get-togethers so that everytime I do it feel’s like there is something new about them. It works for me but not for them – working on that too guys.
Now back to business; I am not planning to be single all my life. nuh!!! I know at some point some kinda bug will bite me and then I will yearn for someone whose eyes I will stare into as the sun sets and the wind blows. See I am not hopeless, at least when that stupid bug bites I will know what to do. The staring thing never fails in movies.
As of now the world is my playing field, I will not stay anywhere long enough to hear the words “I LOVE YOU”. When I am ready chances are I will be the first one to say so. In the meantime – let me allow myself to be me.
Solophobia still doesnt know I exist. SOME DAY it will and I have an exit plan like any smart girl should…