…a good friend once asked me why I always swear am never getting married and I couldnt think of any specific answer. I have so many answers some justified and others just plainly lame .

I have done a pretty good job at keeping my emotions in check.

Rihanna’s song sum’s it up – kinda does anyway;
    “am not the type to get my heart broken, am not the type to get upset n cry. cause I never leave my heart open, never hurts me to say goodbye. Relationships dont get deep to me, never got the whole ‘in love’ thing. and someone can say they love me truly but it never really means a thing to me”

I know, I know it sounds like I have totally lost it and the truth is I have!!! I mean at first I tried masking all this just to tell my sweet self that it was well with me and it’s gonna pass and I will fall in love eventually, but nuh!! Day by Day I have no motivation to even try “nubbing” some guy for future reasons n roles(hehehehhe). I have no urge to even try and dress sexy and tell my future knight that  I am here. I get iritated whenever some random Adam tries to chat me up.

At first it all worried me but with time I perfected it all. I know now what I have to do. I know how to block ’em all when am walking down the streets – catch me dead without my headphones on. I know what to do when in a bus/matatu – catch me with a novel, magazine or even my Bible. When I go into a night club just to unwind all I got to do is surf endlessly on my phone if I am alone – my BFF tells me to stop going into clubs alone. I am working on it love, dont worry. Baby steps.

This is not to say I hate company. I am sure if there was one of those competitions where you ponyoka with something I would in this. I love company – I just dont like intrusive company. I meet my pals quite often but not everyday. I get bored easily so i try to minimise the get-togethers so that everytime I do it feel’s like there is something new about them. It works for me but not for them – working on that too guys.

Now back to business; I am not planning to be single all my life. nuh!!! I know at some point some kinda bug will bite me and then I will yearn for someone whose eyes I will stare into as the sun sets and the wind blows. See I am not hopeless, at least when that stupid bug bites I will know what to do. The staring thing never fails in movies.

As of now the world is my playing field, I will not stay anywhere long enough to hear the words “I LOVE YOU”. When I am ready chances are I will be the first one to say so. In the meantime – let me allow myself to be me.

Solophobia still doesnt know I exist. SOME DAY it will and I have an exit plan like any smart girl should…


2 thoughts on “…SOME DAY!!!…

  1. …Thank you very much dear. I will try to. You can check me out on behindmystunnas.wordpress.com. Let me know what you think. Good day and happy new year..

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