..because of you..

…I will not make, the same mistakes that you did…
…I will not let myself cause my heart so much mystery… 
…I will not break the way you did it felt so hard…
…My heart cant possibly break… 
…when it wasn’t even whole to start with…
  • I will not make the same mistakes that you did…
I don’t ever want to lie to my daughter that her daddy is a good for nothing just because it never worked out between us. I don’t want to be the source of a friends pain just because I cant be woman enough to tell her that whoever she is going out with doesn’t have good morals i.e a heart breaker/player. I will not buy furniture worth an arm and leg because my friend did so and she ended up paying for it anyway – did I mention it took her thirteen months to do so?. I will not gossip about my friends just because they are having a time of their lives and am stuck in a rut. I will not engage in any “relationship for promotion” at work just because i think its the only way. I will not allow myself to be afraid of living this life and making mistakes as i go, because we know this is the only way to overcome fear of the unknown. I will learn from your mistakes….

  • I will not let myself cause my heart so much mystery…

At times I want something so bad but I don’t have the oomph to go for it. So I sit back and hope that someone will read my mind and free me from my timid self. I hurt so much when I see someone else take what I had perceived mine. Everyone now becomes my enemy, I carry so much hurt and hate around and nothing can stop me from looking at it as the other person’s  fault. By the time I realise what I have done, how much hurt I’ve caused myself,  it becomes difficult to take it all back.The damage has already been done. My heart has been shattered. So I  make a promise not to  hurt anyone but most importantly myself….  so lets protect the one thing that helps us show love to others..

  • … my heart cant possibly break when it wasn’t even whole to start with...

           There are instances when we are so deep into relationships that we do not want to admit that things ain’t adding up no more. We know that the end is as well as here with us but are not scared of that happening. To me this happens when my credibility has been questioned and I feel it was done in the most unfair way. like when my partner starts questioning my life decisions even when it isn’t necessary. That bond somehow is broken and you just hang-on for appearances sake but deep down you know it is over. When you feel your partner trusts other people more than you, you decide to give them just part of you. Because of what use is “me giving my whole when all am getting is just parts???”. We all want a life of friends with total loyalty n trust and every time that bond is interfered with, getting it back to its initial state gets difficult. So how am I to feel pain when it ends? when my heart had already prepared itself for massacre?….

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